The Imp of the Mind

 

Dedicated to all OCD sufferers everywhere.  I get you.

The imp in my mind,
that horny headed hobgoblin
with cleats for feet
and fistfuls of hate,
whispers sibilantly
down endless echoing
corridors…what if…
what if….what if…?

This doubt demon
demands nothing
less than
everything
held dear.
High jacker of peace,
it haunts
every thought
with uncertainty
and leaves hope
​hemorrhagic on
the bathroom floor.

With insider knowledge
my internal terrorist
rigs my mindscape 
with landmines
and dirty bombs
made from memories,
fragments of fear,
worst case scenarios
and a caustic Molotov
cocktail of guilt.

Hyper vigilance its modus operandi,
it seeks danger everywhere.
Even in sleep
its looming presence
sucks all the marrow from my dreams
with its nightmarish mantra;

“No God,
 no Good,
 no comfort zone,
 in this place
 you’re all alone,
 adrift upon and endless sea
 of dreadful possibility…
           …..what if…..what if…

                                       what if…?”

 

 

Author Notes

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a congenital, biochemical and structural brain disease that consistently demands certainty in an uncertain world.  OCD tends to’ pick on’ the sufferer’s greatest fears and vulnerabilities and proceeds to strip away faith, hope and joy in a systematic assault that can be terrifying.  OCD is often misrepresented in the media as something quirky and colourful, like the TV character Monk.  OCD is anything but comical. There are roughly 450 000 Australians with OCD and 3.3 million Americans. Approximately 2% of any given population is inflicted with this disease or 1 in 200.

 

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