Not Here




For the one who got away…

Floored. Freaked. Fried.
Unmoored.  Zapped. Wired.

I asked for this but now I think I’m

I feel like I’ve been flattened by a

Your eyes say Home
invite me in
no fear, no pain
no wrong, no sin
I cannot fight this urge to merge
I’m near the edge, I’m on the verge

I’m trying hard to not dive in
I want to meet you skin on skin
know love Divine
earthed in your flesh
ground light within
our meld, our mesh
hot kiss hard grind
wet heat entwined
a slippery slope
to blow the mind

I’ve lost all grace
I’ve lost all ease
no dignity no inner peace
hard lessons learnt
escape me now
I’ve lost the plot
I know not how
to be detached, accept, let go
surrender it, go with the flow

I want to bind
I want to clutch
I want to grasp
I want that much

(This binding, grasping, clutching me
I never knew I housed within
I haven’t felt it’s claws before
I’m frightened by it’s greedy grin
Love’s nemesis, freedom’s dark twin
the choking cloak called Possession)

And your’e not here
may never be
your gypsy soul
has claimed you free
from ego’s grip
from pride and fears
your’s is a ship
that Spirit steers

So I will look for you elsewhere
in leaves of grass
in winter bare
in blossom pink
in sun’s hot stare
in dewdrop kiss
on lotus lip
in wind’s caress
on Eucalypt

and yet and yet
though you are there
for abstractions
I do not care
the flesh demands it’s
fleshy fill
I yearn for you
I’m yearning still.


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